Eat My Pagan Ass - Pagan Podcast

EMPA#0043: Bull of Heaven — the Mythic Life of Eddie Buczynski and the Rise of the New York Pagan

eatmypaganass — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 02:13:55 +0000

Most pagans don’t know the name Edmund “Eddie” Buczynski (aka Minos Gwydion-Hyakinthos), but they should. In the span of only a few years in the 1970s, Eddie established three living traditions of modern neopaganism—the New York Welsh Tradition, the Wica Tradition, and the Minoan Tradition, which includes the Minoan Brotherhood, Minoan Sisterhood, and the Cult of Rhea, or the Cult of the Double Axe. This founding elder stood at the convergence of the hippy culture, gay liberation movement, and the rise of neopaganism in New York City, and took aspects of each to create unique and important contributions to neopagan religion and culture.

In this episode of Eat My Pagan Ass, Luckylicious interviews special guest Michael G. Lloyd (aka Garan Du), a Minoan high priest, co-founder of the Between the Worlds men’s gathering, and author of Bull of Heaven: The Mythic Life of Eddie Buczynski and the Rise of the New York Pagan, a book that some consider the sequel to Margot Adler’s seminal history on neopaganism, Drawing Down the Moon (Ms. Adler provides the foreword to Bull of Heaven). As Michael shares in this episode, researching Eddie’s life and its impact on neopaganism was a labor of love that put him in touch with many of our community’s most respected and well-known leaders. As a spiritual descendant of Eddie’s work, Michael hopes that through this book more neopagans will become familiar with Eddie, a man he calls “the Gerald Gardner of the gay pagan community.”

Recorded Sept. 15, 2011. Published April 13, 2012.

Featured web links:

Michael G. Lloyd’s author page: https://www.facebook.com/Iakkhos

Michael G. Lloyd’s guest blog post on The Wild Hunt: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wildhunt/tag/eddie-buczynski

Between the Worlds Men’s Gathering: http://www.betweentheworlds.org

Featured music:

“Siganos Pentozalis” by Various Artists

“Blue Eyed Minoan” by Tatjana Maté

“Epostiroxan Ta Nera” by Various Artists

“Minoan Queen” by Divine Knights

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THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! BLESSED BE, BITCHES!

EMPA#0042: Lisa Owen, Soul Portraits, and Poop

eatmypaganass — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 04:31:18 +0000

Ever wondered what your soul looks like? Just ask Lisa Owen, a talented artist who sketches beautiful original art based on her psychic impressions of people’s souls. After a harrowing near-death experience following a car accident at a young age, her psychic awareness intensified with abilities to see auras and talk to spirit guides and ancestor spirits. Her training with midwestern Native American tribes taught her reverence for the circle of life and the sacredness of totems, the medicine wheel, and the spiritual artist’s path. Then, while overcoming a cancer diagnosis that resulted in intensive chemotherapy and a double mastectomy, Lisa’s artistic powers ignited and she began to shape her visions into drawings, dolls, and altar pieces. “Stage IIIa cancer…gave me my art…art is my juice, my blessing from the gods…I learned how to live through almost dying,” Lisa says in this powerful interview, recorded July 17-ish, 2011, at the Sirius Rising Festival at the Brushwood Folklore Center in Sherman, New York.

I have had the pleasure of receiving two soul readings from Lisa during two separate trips to the Sirius Rising Festival, and both have been powerfully moving experiences of healing and transformation for me. She travels the country attending pagan festivals, so be on the lookout for her at your next festival. You can also check her itinerary and view her art on her website at http://www.bearsoulstudio.com. She is also available for readings and consultations.

Soul Portrait my Lisa Owen of Bear Soul Studio. Copyright Lisa Owen.

Recorded July 17, 2011. Published March 13, 2012.

Featured web links:

Lisa Owen’s website: http://www.bearsoulstudio.com

Sirius Rising festival website: http://www.brushwood.com/sirius.html

Featured musical artists:

“Appalachian Roundup” by Celtic Thunder

“Spring Raja” by Christopher of the Wolves

“Biomorph” by Christopher of the Wolves

“Born to Be Wild” by Steppenwolf

“Stayin’ Alive” by the BeeGees

“Man In the Mirror” by Michael Jackson

“Skunk Werks” by Belief Systems

“Arc of Ascent” by Vas

“Theme from Charmed” by Knightsbridge

“Devil Went Down to Georgia” by The Charlie Daniels Band

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THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! BLESSED BE, BITCHES!

EMPA#0041: Christopher Penczak, Pagan Paths, and Assless Chaps

eatmypaganass — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 17:19:20 +0000

One sweltering early September morning at Gay Witch Camp (aka Between The Worlds queer pagan men’s gathering) in southern Ohio, I was lugging my camping gear to and fro when who should happen to wander by and in a grand gesture of chivalry offer me some assistance but none other than the World Famous Pagan Author and Witch, Christopher “Get Off My Robe, Bitch” Penczak?!? It’s not every day two of pagandom’s most notorious gay witches meet for the first time. The earthworms will sing of our fateful encounter for generations to come. As it so happened, being the informed witch that I am (it pays to have dirt on people) I knew Mr. Penczak was going to be there and I was planning to hunt him down and nag him until he agreed to be interviewed. So imagine my delight when he not only found ME but also practically begged me to let him be on the show. Well, what can I say…they don’t call me Lucky for nothing. I played hard to get at first, of course, but I consented. He IS world famous, after all.

Christopher “Get Off My Robe, Bitch” Penczak gets a smooch from Luckylicious.

In this episode of Eat My Pagan Ass podcast, Christopher Penczak dishes ALL to Lucky — starting from his childhood Catholic porn fantasies wending all the way through his meteoric rise to grand poobah (well, 1/3rd poobah) of a pretty awesome school of witchcraft (but not wizardry…no, including the wizardry curriculum would have opened the school up to threats of copyright infringement from the folks at Hogwarts). Assless chaps are involved, as is much flirting and general silliness, all of which spice up what is a very interesting and informative glimpse into the life of one of modern paganism’s most prolific witches and occultists, and explores the Temple of Witchcraft he created with his life partners Steve Kenson and Adam Sartwell.

Recorded September 15, 2011. Published October 2, 2011.

Featured web links:

Christopher Penczak’s website: http://www.christopherpenczak.com

The Temple of Witchcraft website: http://www.templeofwitchcraft.com

Otherworld Apothecary witchcraft supplies website: http://www.otherworld-apothecary.com/

Between The Worlds queer pagan men’s festival website: http://www.betweentheworlds.org

Featured musical artists:

Emerald Rose performing “Freya, Shakti” from the album “Bending Tradition”

The Gypsy Nomads performing “Belly Trance” from the album “At the Carnival Eclectique”

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Email us at eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

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Donate to us via PayPal to eatmypaganass@gmail.com

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! BLESSED BE, BITCHES!

“Who wouldn’t want to be a Momma’s Boy with this as your momma?”

EMPA#0040: Dragon Ritual Drummers

eatmypaganass — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 02:09:54 +0000

The Dragon Ritual Drummers make a special guest appearance on Eat My Pagan Ass podcast with host Luckylicious. Following the band’s powerful performance at the Between The Worlds queer pagan men’s gathering in southeastern Ohio in mid-September 2011, Lucky asks members Utu, Adrian, and Flint all about the group and their music. Listen and learn about the group’s origins and inspirations (musical, magical, and spiritual), as well as their commitment to strengthening the brotherhood of men in paganism and their vision for a united global pagan community.

Lucky’s interview with this world-famous, chart-topping musical performance group touches on the need for men’s mysteries and rights of passage, the role of voodoo and other Afro-Caribbean religions in the evolution of American music and culture, and the wonder and joy that comes from following your heart, living your rhythm, and dancing your soul.

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About the Dragon Ritual Drummers (Source: the group’s website):

The Dragon Ritual Drummers [celebrated] their 10 year anniversary [in] 2010. Based out of the Niagara Region, they began their journey as favorites in the pagan festival circuit in Ontario Canada. They have since moved on to play at pagan festivals and large mainstream events all over North America.

The troupe is comprised of 6 members; Utu, Flint, Adrian, Drago, Naresh and Eion. All members play a variety of instruments including tribal drums, string instruments, as well as brass and archaic reed instruments heard in the ancient hills and valleys of Europe, the Middle East and North Africa. Their music and performances are creative, intense and powerful. They bring the audience to their feet dancing as they are swept away in the intense beat of music, inspired from around the world and through the ages.

The lore of the Dragon Ritual Drummers is attached to the entity from which they take their name, the mythical dragon spirit that resides in an ethereal cave at the brink of Niagara Falls. The ancient serpent spirit was once revered by aboriginal inhabitants of the region but was eventually cast into a negative legacy by the conquering Iroquois nation. The serpents legacy was one of obscurity for generations. From the beginning the the Dragon Ritual Drummers reached out to awaken the ancient water dragon spirit, and the rest as they say is history in the making. The Dragon Ritual Drummers attribute much of their success to the dragon spirit, achieving unprecedented success for their musical genres world wide. Their interactive and critically acclaimed CD “The Epic: A Drum Opera” tells the story of the Niagara dragon from the ice age to modern times, all with drums and percussion along with beautiful illustrations. They currently are promoting their newest release “Temple of the Drum”

They have been featured in numerous mainstream and pagan media, have owned the #1 ranking on the Canadian MySpace music charts for the genres of “Afro-beat” and “Tropical”, and are currently in the top 20 in the U.S. MySpace music charts, and ranked #1 for their genre of World Music on Reverb Nation!

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Recorded September 16, 2011 + + Published September 24, 2011.

Featured Songs:

Hot Toddy - Temple of the Drum - Dragon Ritual Drummers

Fanga - Temple of the Drum - Dragon Ritual Drummers

Tuatha De Dannan - Temple of the Drum - Dragon Ritual Drummers

Shango - Tribal Magik - Dragon Ritual Drummers

Bamboula - Tribal Magik - Dragon Ritual Drummers

Mountain Mystery - Tribal Magik - Dragon Ritual Drummers

All songs copyright Dragon Ritual Drummers.

BUY THE ALBUMS: http://dragonritualdrummers.com/Cds.php

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Email: eatmypaganass@gmail.com

EMPA#0039: Gay, Gay, Gay!!

eatmypaganass — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 02:45:45 +0000

AS GAY AS IT GETS!

Gay pagans, gay gods, sex magick, frolicking in the forest, and MORE!

Lucky interviews the notoriously fabulous (or is that fabulously notorious?) Ocymvio, a gay pagan who’s made his home in NYC and has brought quite a big of magick and fellowship to the gay pagan community there. Founder of the NYC Gay Men’s Open Pagan Magick Circle, gypsy born, Minoan Brotherhood member, fashion designer, tarot reader, regular attendee at Between the Worlds and Short Mountain Sanctuary, and all around groovy guy, Ocymvio shares his experiences as a gay pagan and how he puts a little swish into his “Walking the Talk.” This episode was recorded at Beltane, so there’s a bit of friskiness and quite a lot of vulgarity — served up just how you badass pagans love to hear it!

See Ocymvio’s fashion designs on the web at Gypsycamp Clothing.

EMPA#0038: Faeries, Ethics, and Motörhed

eatmypaganass — Sat, 21 May 2011 21:41:52 +0000

JUDGMENT DAY XXI: The Return of Judgment Day

(Sequel to “Judgment Day XX: Here It Is Again (and THIS TIME It’s for REAL, We Promise”)

It’s the same old bullshit since the day anyone walked around claiming to be a prophet: follow some jokester, swallow his bull hook, line, and sinker, give him all your money, sell everything you own, leave your families, and tell everyone the world is coming to an end. When will people learn? Is it self-loathing that turns them against this world, their loved ones, and themselves? What kind of escapist fantasy nightmare are they giving themselves over to, and for what? How does this contrast with the pagan worldview?

Luckylicious talks about loony fundamentalist fringe-heads and acknowledges there’s more to be learned from their behavior than you might realize at first. Also in this very special episode Lucky interviews the very talented artist and witch, Silkie Lyrazel, high priestess of the Grailwood Coven in New York City. Silkie shares her insights into the Faerie Tradition, bardic work, ritual drama, living with familiars, staying attuned to nature and the realm of Faerie, and even dishes on True Blood and her vampire/goth fascination. Silkie and Lucky talk about ethical living and how pagans can walk the talk a bit more, as well as take pride in our convictions and stand up for ourselves in the face of persecution, discrimination, and threats of physical violence.

Recorded April 3, 2011 and May 21, 2011 ++ Published May 21, 2011

Music Credits

Reckoner by Radiohead

Armory by Daft Punk

Rice Cake Preparation Dance by Female Voices of Japanese Shinto Ritual Music

Impossible Planet by Murray Gold and the BBC National Orchestra of Wales

Ba Ba by Sigur Rós

Ich Warte by Einstürzende Neubauten

Orgasmatron by Motörhed

Find us on the web:

Facebook: http://facebook.com/eatmypaganasspodcast

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eatmypaganass

Email: eatmypaganass@gmail.com

Eat My Pagan Ass podcast promo

eatmypaganass — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 18:39:05 +0000

Hi, beautiful pagans!! Lucky has created a new 32 second promotional clip that anyone can download. It’s especially great for other podcasters who would like to promote Eat My Pagan Ass in their podcasts. If you are a podcaster and plan to include our promo in your show, please let us know by emailing us at eatmypaganass@gmail.com. Podcasters are encouraged to email their promo to us, too, and we’ll consider including it in our podcast.

Bye, hookers! xo Lucky

EMPA#0037: Springtime for Hitler (and Germany!)

eatmypaganass — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 03:13:27 +0000

Carmen drops a bomb on Eat My Pagan Ass in this episode!! She’s leaving the show to travel the world with some crazy band of “famous” pagans (she won’t say who) doing miracles in places of need. It’s all very mysterious, and Lucky wonders if Grannylicious has anything to do with it. Speaking of Grannylicious, EMPA fan Fire Lyte reveals a tasty tidbit of gossip — tho we’ll save most of his story for another podcast. Lucky is distraught about what’s to come…or is he? Maybe he planned this all along. Maybe Carmen was just getting in the way of his glory. In the meantime, we dish about fallen fashion icon John Galliano and his wicked Nazi ways. (Shame on you, buttercup! Lay off the sauce, sober up, own up, and move on! — Take it from Lucky, who celebrates three years of sobriety this week!)

Lucky and Carmen also share some stories of how they have both had run-ins with the po-po lately…wtf? No one went to jail, so things are looking up. Hope springs eternal, and well that was another lame segue — BLESSED SPRING EQUINOX all you fan-freaking-tastic EMPA listeners!!!

THIS IS NOT THE LAST EPISODE! MORE IS ON THE WAY!!!

SPECIAL NOTE: This episode was recorded March 3, 2011, before the March 11 earthquake and tsunami that devastated northern Japan. Please send your prayers to the people and animals of that country. Also, if you can, please consider making a donation to any of the causes that are working to improve the situation in Japan. Here are two suggestions: (for the people) American Red Cross or (for the animals) Japan Earthquake Animal Rescue and Support.

Featured Music:

“Springtime for Hitler” from “The Producers” Broadway Cast Recording

“Goodbye” from My Darkest Days

Contact us or stay in the know:

Email: eatmypaganass@gmail.com

Facebook: http://facebook.com/eatmypaganasspodcast

Twitter: http://twitter.com/eatmypaganass

Web: http://eatmypaganass.com

Recorded March 3, 2011 - Published: March 22, 2011

EMPA#0036: Happy Winter Solstice / Yule / Christmas / Chanukah / etc.

eatmypaganass — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 21:38:25 +0000

Blessed Yule, pagan ass eaters!! It’s the winter solstice with a kick: total lunar eclipse! Whahoo! That means anything goes, and it DOES in this episode of Eat My Pagan Ass pagan podcast. Lucky is a single gay pagan AGAIN (don’t worry–he’s okay with that) and Carmen has the hots for some guy and this time actually works up the nerve to talk to him. (It’s progress, not perfection, right?)

We touch one last time (for now) on the passing of Lucky’s dear friend, Glitterpussy, and the pagan implications of death and, apropos to the season, rebirth. Friends are among our most valued treasures, so treasure them! Chanukah schmooze 2010! We respond to some listener emails, which include tarot and rune readings, before heading out to Rockefeller Center to gaze upon the giant painted-up Yule tree and make fun of NYC tourists (keep coming back! we love you!) Lots of musical interludes in this episode, so enjoy!

Pssst: ‘Tis the season to be generous. Please support Eat My Pagan Ass with a donation today. Donate via www.paypal.com to eatmypaganass@gmail.com. THANK YOU!

Featured music:

We Speak No Americano - Yolando Be Cool & DCap

I Feel Pretty - West Side Story original soundtrack recording

With a Little Help from My Friends - The Beatles

We Are a Circle - Luckylicious

Dreydl, Dreydl - Mark Eckardt, Jessica Rotter and The Dreydl Kids

Hava Nagila - London Festival Orchestra

Klezmer Waltz - Margot Leverette & the Klezmer Mountain Boys

Christmas Day in the Morning - Shira Kammen*

Carol of the Bells - Celtic Woman

Baby Elephant Walk - Al Caiola/Billy May

Spear Burn - Belief Systems*

Talk Box - Belief Systems*

Deep House - Belief Systems*

Electro Jive - Belief Systems*

Apple Tree Wassail - Shira Kammen*

The Holly Bears a Berry - Shira Kammen*

Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles

*Courtesy www.magnatune.com

Email us at eatmypaganass@gmail.com

Friend us on Facebook:http://facebook.com/EatMyPaganAssPodcast

Recorded December 4, 2010 Aired December 21, 2010

Happy solstice, everybody!

EMPA#0035-2: Glitterpussy, Pagan Music Artist, Part II

eatmypaganass — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 17:55:38 +0000

This episode is a follow-on to Eat My Pagan Ass episode 35, which featured an interview with pagan music artist and one of Lucky’s best friends in the glamorverse, Glitterpussy. Tragically, Glitter (or Allyson, her given name), passed away unexpectedly on November 5, 2010. Episode 35 was aired as the August 2010 interview was intended, letting Glitter speak for herself in her own words, and including no mention of her passing.

In this episode, we hear the tale of how Glitter and Lucky met in July 2002 at the Starwood Festival, an annual pagan gathering and celebration that was held at the Brushwood Folklore Center in Sherman, NY (now at Wisteria in Ohio). Be transported back across space and time to this pivotal moment when two stars collided and began a spiral dance in one of the world’s most magical places.

Lucky shares his feelings about losing a dear friend, and also delves into the uncomfortable subject of what happens when we pass over–not only for the soul in transition, but also for everyone else left behind. It’s not all laughs in this episode, but Lucky does share some of the beautiful gifts of healing spirit Allyson/Glitterpussy gave to those around her. Through this podcast, you may be touched, too, by this very special, beautiful being whose laughter and love will be sorely missed but never forgotten.

Music in this episode includes:

Drummers of Starwood 2009
La Turbulente - Sonata 7 / Bellerofonte Castaldi
La Turbulente - Sonate Duodecima. Sopra “La Bergamasca”/Salamone Rossi
Shira Kammen - An Dro Nevez (www.magnatune.com)
Shira Kammen - Round About Our Coal Fire (www.magnatune.com)
Sinead O’Connor - I Am Stretched On Your Grave
Seal - Don’t Cry

Email us at eatmypaganass@gmail.com

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EMPA#0035: Glitterpussy, Pagan Music Artist

eatmypaganass — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 17:23:58 +0000

Lucky interviews pagan musical artist, tantric instructor, and best friend, Glitterpussy. Glitter shares her thoughts on living life to the fullest, self-acceptance and body image, musical influences, pagan festivals, American paganism, fundamentalism, marriage to the love her of life, vulture housewives in grocery store parking lots, abortion, pagan parenting, polyamory, tantra and breathwork, kitchen witchery, and more! Lots of Glitter’s original music featured, including: Hooker with a Heart of Gold, Skinny, Swallow, Worst Case Scenario, as well as impromtu fireside covers of Aborchun (Jammin’), and With a Little Help from My Friends. Photos throughout of this fabulous and gorgeously magical woman.

I LOVE YOU, GLITTER! FOREVER!

Featured artist: Glitterpussy

EXTRA: check out the YouTube video of Glitter’s pagan wedding at the Starwood pagan festival in summer 2009!

Recorded August 7, 2010 Aired: December 15, 2010

Email: eatmypaganass@gmail.com

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EMPA#0034: Samhain Stirs Up All Kinds of Demons (Like Grannylicious)

eatmypaganass — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 21:46:02 +0000

Carmen & Lucky welcome you to our 34th episode of Eat My Pagan Ass pagan podcast. This episode started off innocently enough — responding to listener emails, talking about our days and our Samhain plans, and then POOF Grannylicious appears out of thin air and the shit hits the fan. The millennia-long feud between Carmen and Granny comes to a pivotal turning point, and worlds hang in the balance as these two ancient ladies level their wands at one another, and Lucky must use every last ounce of his political negotiation skills to keep them from pulling their hair triggers.

Featured artist: Mannheim Steamroller Special Guest: Grannylicious

Recorded October 26, 2010 Aired: October 31, 2010

Blessed Samhain!

Email: eatmypaganass@gmail.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/eatmypaganasspodcast Twitter: www.twitter.com/eatmypaganass

EMPA#0033: It Gets Better (Don’t Off Yourself!)

eatmypaganass — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 23:31:50 +0000

Season 3, Episode 2 (EMPA#0033): It Gets Better (Don’t Off Yourself!)

Recorded NYC, October 3, 2010

Carmen Kickass and Luckylicious proudly bring you the thirty-third installment of Eat My Pagan Ass. In this episode, we bring everyone up to speed on just where the heck we’ve been all summer long. Lucky’s been on Fire Island, the notorious gay haven by the sea, communing with the elements and checking out all the delicious, roasting meat (see poem below). Carmen has been hopping the globe, stirring up trouble on both U.S. coasts and beyond. Both of us are asking “What the fuck is going on with all these gay suicides?” and you can bet we’ve got something to say about it. It’s not all Sturm und Drang, however; we take a playful detour through the adventures of love (and how NOT to run away from the opportunity to love and be loved in return); we celebrate the official recognition of Druidry in the U.K. as a legitimate religion; we reply to some listener emails; we dish on J.K. Rowling’s recent appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show; announce that the legendary Enchantments magical store in New York City is alive and well on the Lower East Side; ruminate on the coming Samhain season; explore Carmen’s unnatural fascination with large zits (gag); mention Perdurabo, an updated biography on the man, the myth, the legend himself, Aleister Crowley (”Uncle Al”), written by Richard Kaczynski; and last but not least we hear a wonderful new song by Jeff Altergott called “It Gets Better” dedicated to all the GLBTQ youth out there struggling with daily harassment for being who they are.

Featured artist: Jeffrey Altergott

And now for a poem:

Fire Island September 18, 2010 by Lucky de las Brujas

Roiling tides that presage the storms at sea, Half-naked (or fully bare) boys with tans Hurling themselves, laughing, carefree, Into the swelling waters, finding fun In daring Dame Nature herself.

Thongs on feet that flip, now flop, Now left alone along dry, sometimes-splintered boardwalks, Abandoned by their owners, Who prefer to feel the fire of the sun In the hot sands baking—almost burning— Between their carefully manicured toes, Connecting body to beach, man to eternity.

A timeless sounding as surf sinks into the porous shore, Ephemeral sea foam fizzing into nothingness. Dingbat birds with tiny bodies, long legs, and even longer beaks Chase after the receding, briny waters Wanting to taste the sweet, moist meat of a fat worm Buried below the thirsty sucking mud.

Pardon our sound–Lucky forgot to bring the good audio recorder and so this one was made with an iPhone.

Email us to tell us any damn thing you want: eatmypaganass@gmail.com

Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com

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EMPA#0032: Gods Bless America!

eatmypaganass — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 23:02:32 +0000

Season 3, Episode 1 (EMPA#0032): Gods Bless America

Recorded NYC, July 4, 2010

Carmen Kickass and Luckylicious launch the third season of their hit pagan podcast, Eat My Pagan Ass. In this episode, Carmen and Lucky get into the spirit of the July 4 holiday and celebrate a pagan perspective on independence, freedom, liberation, and patriotism. Following the examples of the United States’ founding fathers (and mothers), Carmen and Lucky take a stand against THE MAN, tyranny, oppression, and instead exercise their rights to freedom, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The astrological influences of Cancer are felt in this episode–security, pride in the home(land), and standing up for our young country in the face of critics. We meditate on mental or spiritual self-imprisonment and ways to embrace and practice freedom on many different levels of existence.

Lots of great patriotic music in this episode, too:

Lady Hope’s Reel - American Fife Ensemble
Lovely Nancy - American Fife Ensemble
Federal Overture - Hesperus
American Life - Madonna
Freedom 90 - George Michael
Liberty Song - Sherrill Milnes and Jon Spong
Rickett’s Hornpipe / Fisher’s Hornpipe - Hesperus
Star Spangled Banner - Cactus Cuties

Email us to tell us any damn thing you want: eatmypaganass@gmail.com

Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com

Be our fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Eat-My-Pagan-ss/172344217992

EMPA#0031: Lazy Summer, Lazy Pagans

eatmypaganass — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 01:11:12 +0000

Carmen Kickass and Luckylicious are back from their siesta with another episode of the most famous pagan podcast on the planet — Eat My Pagan Ass! In this episode, we remember the amazing talents of the widely imitated Miss Cleo of Psychic Friends Network fame (don’t worry, she’s still alive, thank the Goddess!), discuss the power of intuition and its ability to protect us from dangerous situations, swap some pretty grody recipes, spiral off on yet another tangent about Carmen’s frickin’ birds, and respond to a TON of awesome listener emails (you guys ROCK!).

Thanks to our latest donors to the 666 Club — Kate and The Highway Hermit. Also thanks to Brooke for sending us this awesome piece of artwork, which she calls “Holding Magick”:

Happy Midsummer, bitches! Love, Carmen and Lucky…

Email us to tell us any damn thing you want: eatmypaganass@gmail.com

Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com

Be our fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Eat-My-Pagan-ss/172344217992

EMPA#0030: The Beltane Sex Episode (Scandalous!)

eatmypaganass — Sat, 08 May 2010 18:02:38 +0000

Carmen and Lucky lay their plan for changing the world. Pay attention, pagans — this is the episode that starts it ALL rolling! Civil rights and drag queen masturbation, all in the same breath!! Carmen explains that there’s more than one way to dance around a Maypole (ahem), and one of them involves a lot of stinky cheese. Covens and sex, and Gerald Gardner pops up again, and Carmen alleges a scandalous origin of Wicca’s founder. Oh, and did we mention sex? We also riff on some tarot cards. Lots and lots and lots of sex mentioned, so keep the kiddies away from this episode. Hope you are all having a blessed Beltane — remember, WISH BIG! Email us at eatmypaganass@gmail.com to tell us what you wish for this magical season!

Featured musical artist: “Beltane Twirl” sung by Luckylicious

Closing song: “Come on get happy” - The Partridge Family

Recorded on May 5, 2010, NYC; Published May 8, 2010

Email us with your Beltane wishes — dream big: eatmypaganass@gmail.com.Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com.

Be our fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Eat-My-Pagan-ss/172344217992

EMPA#0029: Anger Management & Broom Closets

eatmypaganass — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:20:39 +0000

In this episode of Eat My Pagan Ass pagan podcast, Carmen Kickass lashes back at Grannylicious (aka Voldegranny), but short of starting a witch war proceeds with caution because she’s truly scared of the evil that Granny can do (and has done), least of all the murder of Carmen’s beloved parakeet Paco (R.I.P.)! Lucky doesn’t want to get caught in the crossfire and changes the subject to more fun topics, like Sex and Beltane and Maypoles (ahem). But first — the Vatican is at it again, deflecting responsibility for its sex abuse scandals by blaming homosexuality instead of its unnatural policy of priestly celibacy. Nice try, lump heads. Carmen and Lucky respond to TONS of listener emails about coming out of the broom closet, Project Pagan Enough, high priestesses who can’t get over themselves, and more candle magic.

Featured Pagan Blog: Project Pagan Enough

Featured Musical Artist: Ocean Lab - Siren Song - I Am What I Am

Episode 29 recorded April 17, 2010, New York City

Email us with your Beltane stories and pictures: eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

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EMPA#0028: Grannylicious, Queen of the Witches

eatmypaganass — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 12:03:34 +0000

In this episode of Eat My Pagan Ass podcast, Lucky’s notoriously rambunctious grandmother, a.k.a. Grannylicious, has flown in from goddess knows where in order to appear on the podcast — at 93 years old, this makes her the oldest living human being (at least we think she’s human) to podcast. Carmen refuses to be in her presence, which is just as well — Granny lobs some rather contentious accusations at Carmen, and makes some outrageous claims to fame, which Lucky finds hard to swallow, including everything from being the broom flying coach for the Harry Potter movies to going over Niagara Falls in a barrel while being a member of the Canadian mounted police. As whenever family comes to visit, a lot of shit from the past rises to the surface, and Lucky can barely handle it. Grannylicious makes a shocking revelation about her past that you’ll never believe.

Featured artist: Dar Williams, “Christians and the Pagans”

Episode 28 recorded April 3, 2010, NYC

Email us with the stories of your crazy grandmother — Lucky can’t be the only one with a nutjob for an ancestor: eatmypaganass@gmail.com.Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com

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EMPA#0027: For the Birds!

eatmypaganass — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 02:23:25 +0000

GUMMY BEAR PORN!

Podcasting from a trailer-park shack in the sky, Carmen and Lucky are on a gummy bear-induced sugar high, so their ADD is at its zenith. Editing has helped, but they’re all over the map on this episode: obesity and thin obsession, Anna Wintour, Johnny Weir, tarot readings, listener emails, Carmen’s birthday wishes, gummy bears as sex toys, 2010 Pisces Party shenanigans, did we mention Gummy Bears? Oh, and two very special announcements, including:

Wicca History Project: a new video series produced by EMPA Productions featuring Zan Fraser, author of A Briefe Historie of Wytches, now in filming and available soon on YouTube. Stay tuned!
Grannylicious, Lucky’s somewhat mentally loose 93 year old grandmother (and a fierce witch — one of the originals) is coming to town and is demanding to be on the podcast — so look out for her.

Featured pagan musical artist: Glitterpussy, performing “Skinny” live (acoustic) at Starwood Festival 2009 - http://www.myspace.com/glitterpussy

Featured pagan artist: Logan G.

Episode 27 recorded March 6, 2010, New York City, NY. Released March 24, 2010.

Email us to tell us any damn thing you want. And if you’re Mexican we want to hear from you – Carmen’s got a very special prize offer for you: eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com

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EMPA#0026: Sacred Prostitution and Other Pagan Love Affairs

eatmypaganass — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:19:22 +0000

It’s Carmen’s birthday, bitches! So wish her a happy one by sending her an ecard at eatmypaganass@gmail.com. And since it’s her birthday, here’s some of her favorite eye candy:

In this episode we discuss novelas, Carmen’s fireman fantasies, prostitution and erotic massage from a pagan perspective, war & pleasure, listener emails, @sstrology, self empowerment and responsible witchhood, The Wigglian Way podcast, books (a pagan love affair!) and community service.

Remember - this is a video enhanced podcast with chapters, so look for photos and links embedded in the podcast.

Here are some links mentioned in the episode:

The Wigglian Way podcast, episode 63: http://bit.ly/Wig-63

The Wigglian Way podcast, episode 64: http://bit.ly/Wig-64

Carmen’s favorite tarot book by Marcia Masino: http://bit.ly/best-tarot

Email us with your take on pleasure cults, sexuality and prostitution. Also, does your coven do community service? Tell us about it — what’s the effect on the community, on the coven, and on your personal spiritual development? eatmypaganass@gmail.com.Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.comFollow us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EatMyPaganAss

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Fixed episodes 24 and 25

eatmypaganass — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:46:30 +0000

We fixed episode 24 (no more sudden gap of dead silence caused by an upload error), and also uploaded another version of episode 25, this time with show art. Just an FYI in case you want better versions. Just delete them from iTunes and then refresh your podcasts to download the new versions.

EMPA#0025: Eat Your Heart Out! St. Valentine Was a Loon!

eatmypaganass — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 03:50:37 +0000

It’s Valentine’s Day, so Carmen and Lucky are waxing philosophical about the nuances of love, pagan handfastings, polyamory, gay bashing, and obsession. Is love just a mental disorder, a neurochemically induced fugue state of codependent lust? Or is it something more spiritual than that? We don’t know, but we sure have fun trying to guess. Special contests announced in this episode. Psst, Carmen uses the “C” word in this episode!! OH, and it’s her birthday on the 26th, so send her some e-love at eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!

Email us your stories of love, gained or lost. Don’t forget our contests this episode: (1) Send us your pagan joke ideas for the podcast intro, but remember the punchline has to be “eat my pagan ass!” and (2) send pictures of what you THINK Carmen looks like. eatmypaganass@gmail.com.Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com

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EMPA#0024: Go To Hell, Pat Robertson - or - Demonic Mnemonics

eatmypaganass — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:09:41 +0000

Carmen and Lucky invite a couple friends over for a coffee klatsch — Delphi and The Superchungus riff with our cohosts about Secrets in paganism, NYC rituals, the Cult of Madonna, Death, dirty pagan asses, Radical Faerie Heart Circles, multiverses and time travel reverse Reiki healing, journeys to the Edge(s), weather magic, Haiti/Pat Robertson/Devil, and Luciferian witchcraft. Eavesdrop on this roaming conversation with four NYC (well, three NYC and now one Hawaiian) witches. Anything goes on this episode of Eat My Pagan Ass.

Join the Cult of Madonna!

Special Guests: Delphi and The Superchungus

Music credits: “Wondring Aloud” by Jethro Tull; “What’s the Buzz” from Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack; “Death on Two Legs” by Queen; “Jets” from West Side Story; “Sh’Boom (Life Could Be A Dream)” by The Crew Cuts

Email us if you dig Luciferian witchcraft. Just what the hell is it really all about? And is Madonna really the devil? Or is she a path to freedom from the chains of spiritual bondage? Send us your Pat Robertson hate mail. eatmypaganass@gmail.com.Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.comFollow us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EatMyPaganAss

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EMPA#0023: The Art of Blasphemy, Taken to a New Low

eatmypaganass — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 06:56:16 +0000

The Catholic lawmakers in Ireland have made blasphemy illegal. Well, Carmen and Lucky say, “blaspheme THIS, you Leprechaun-lovin’, Guinness swiggin, wafer-eatin’ embarrassments to your Celtic ancestors!” This episode is chock-full of offensive swill, sure enough to piss off any uptight religio-twats. Bring your sense of humor…otherwise, you’re in for one HELL of a ride! Tarot and rune divination, a prosperity spell, listener email, and more in this episode. Featured pagan artist: Gaia Resurrect. Featured pagan podcast/blog: Inciting a Riot, with Fire Lyte. Feature pagan store: Magickal Realms & Pagan Center of New York.

Email us with your most blasphemous thoughts, artwork, songs, everything! We want to see it all! If you’re new to the show, introduce yourself. We’d love to give you a shout-out on a future episode of Eat My Pagan Ass. eatmypaganass@gmail.com.Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://podcast.eatmypaganass.com.

Be our fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Eat-My-Pagan-ss/172344217992.

Irish Blasphemy Law Goes Into Effect, Challenged by Atheists

eatmypaganass — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 21:27:53 +0000

Devoutly Catholic Ireland lawmakers have passed a new blasphemy law that makes punishable by a hefty fine blasphemy. To challenge the law, a group in Ireland, Irish Atheists, has published “blasphemous” quotes from Bjork, Mark Twain, Salman Rushdie, and others (and should include Eat My Pagan Ass, for that matter!)

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/01/02/ireland.blasphemy.law/index.html

Carmen and I are going to have a blast tearing this one apart on the next episode of Eat My Pagan Ass. After all, we blaspheme not only most of the world’s major religions on a regular basis (just listen to our last episode to get an idea of what we think of Catholicism, for example), but we also blaspheme pagan religions on a regular basis. WHY? Because people shouldn’t take themselves or their religions too damn seriously.

Whatever your religion, time and again we see conflict arising when people forget how to laugh at themselves. How many times have we seen within pagan groups irritating squabbles over how this or that should or should not be done?

Religion is a means to an end (in a manner of speaking), not the end itself. When I see these world religious leaders squabbling over the finer points of their make-believe fantasies of convenience, I am reminded of the bossy kid on the playground who insists that SHE is the only one who know the PROPER way to play house.

It’s all child’s play in the eyes of the gods.

Where I take issue is that now the government is stepping in and is going to penalize people for criticizing what, in my opinion, deserves much criticism. And even if that weren’t my opinion, there is something called free speech which I realize is not guaranteed throughout this world but is something I as a pagan believe is a fundamental human right.

Could you imagine lawmakers here in the U.S. doing something similar? Actually, you could, couldn’t you?

Well, I think that it should not just be the atheists standing up against this oppressive bullshit. Blasphemy is healthy. It keeps things in perspective. Pagans and other religious groups would do well to come out against the Irish lawmakers.

It’s true that some sad people just can’t take a joke. That’s all well and good. But imposing fines on those of us who call them out on their crap is just fascist oppression. Call a spade a spade.

Grrrr.

- Luckylicious

25 Blasphemous Quotations

Published by Atheist Ireland on 1 January 2010

1. Jesus Christ, when asked if he was the son of God, in Matthew 26:64: “Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.” According to the Christian Bible, the Jewish chief priests and elders and council deemed this statement by Jesus to be blasphemous, and they sentenced Jesus to death for saying it.

2. Jesus Christ, talking to Jews about their God, in John 8:44: “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.” This is one of several chapters in the Christian Bible that can give a scriptural foundation to Christian anti-Semitism. The first part of John 8, the story of “whoever is without sin cast the first stone”, was not in the original version, but was added centuries later. The original John 8 is a debate between Jesus and some Jews. In brief, Jesus calls the Jews who disbelieve him sons of the Devil, the Jews try to stone him, and Jesus runs away and hides.

3. Muhammad, quoted in Hadith of Bukhari, Vol 1 Book 8 Hadith 427: “May Allah curse the Jews and Christians for they built the places of worship at the graves of their prophets.” This quote is attributed to Muhammad on his death-bed as a warning to Muslims not to copy this practice of the Jews and Christians. It is one of several passages in the Koran and in Hadith that can give a scriptural foundation to Islamic anti-Semitism, including the assertion in Sura 5:60 that Allah cursed Jews and turned some of them into apes and swine.

4. Mark Twain, describing the Christian Bible in Letters from the Earth, 1909: “Also it has another name – The Word of God. For the Christian thinks every word of it was dictated by God. It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies… But you notice that when the Lord God of Heaven and Earth, adored Father of Man, goes to war, there is no limit. He is totally without mercy — he, who is called the Fountain of Mercy. He slays, slays, slays! All the men, all the beasts, all the boys, all the babies; also all the women and all the girls, except those that have not been deflowered. He makes no distinction between innocent and guilty… What the insane Father required was blood and misery; he was indifferent as to who furnished it.” Twain’s book was published posthumously in 1939. His daughter, Clara Clemens, at first objected to it being published, but later changed her mind in 1960 when she believed that public opinion had grown more tolerant of the expression of such ideas. That was half a century before Fianna Fail and the Green Party imposed a new blasphemy law on the people of Ireland.

5. Tom Lehrer, The Vatican Rag, 1963: “Get in line in that processional, step into that small confessional. There, the guy who’s got religion’ll tell you if your sin’s original. If it is, try playing it safer, drink the wine and chew the wafer. Two, four, six, eight, time to transubstantiate!”

6. Randy Newman, God’s Song, 1972: “And the Lord said: I burn down your cities – how blind you must be. I take from you your children, and you say how blessed are we. You all must be crazy to put your faith in me. That’s why I love mankind.”

7. James Kirkup, The Love That Dares to Speak its Name, 1976: “While they prepared the tomb I kept guard over him. His mother and the Magdalen had gone to fetch clean linen to shroud his nakedness. I was alone with him… I laid my lips around the tip of that great cock, the instrument of our salvation, our eternal joy. The shaft, still throbbed, anointed with death’s final ejaculation.” This extract is from a poem that led to the last successful blasphemy prosecution in Britain, when Denis Lemon was given a suspended prison sentence after he published it in the now-defunct magazine Gay News. In 2002, a public reading of the poem, on the steps of St. Martin-in-the-Fields church in Trafalgar Square, failed to lead to any prosecution. In 2008, the British Parliament abolished the common law offences of blasphemy and blasphemous libel.

8. Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath, in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, 1979: “Look, I had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.”

9. Rev Ian Paisley MEP to the Pope in the European Parliament, 1988: “I denounce you as the Antichrist.” Paisley’s website describes the Antichrist as being “a liar, the true son of the father of lies, the original liar from the beginning… he will imitate Christ, a diabolical imitation, Satan transformed into an angel of light, which will deceive the world.”

10. Conor Cruise O’Brien, 1989: “In the last century the Arab thinker Jamal al-Afghani wrote: ‘Every Muslim is sick and his only remedy is in the Koran.’ Unfortunately the sickness gets worse the more the remedy is taken.”

11. Frank Zappa, 1989: “If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine – but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you’ve been bad or good – and cares about any of it – to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working.”

12. Salman Rushdie, 1990: “The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas – uncertainty, progress, change – into crimes.” In 1989, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran issued a fatwa ordering Muslims to kill Rushdie because of blasphemous passages in Rushdie’s novel The Satanic Verses.

13. Bjork, 1995: “I do not believe in religion, but if I had to choose one it would be Buddhism. It seems more livable, closer to men… I’ve been reading about reincarnation, and the Buddhists say we come back as animals and they refer to them as lesser beings. Well, animals aren’t lesser beings, they’re just like us. So I say fuck the Buddhists.”

14. Amanda Donohoe on her role in the Ken Russell movie Lair of the White Worm, 1995: “Spitting on Christ was a great deal of fun. I can’t embrace a male god who has persecuted female sexuality throughout the ages, and that persecution still goes on today all over the world.”

15. George Carlin, 1999: “Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!”

16. Paul Woodfull as Ding Dong Denny O’Reilly, The Ballad of Jaysus Christ, 2000: “He said me ma’s a virgin and sure no one disagreed, Cause they knew a lad who walks on water’s handy with his feet… Jaysus oh Jaysus, as cool as bleedin’ ice, With all the scrubbers in Israel he could not be enticed, Jaysus oh Jaysus, it’s funny you never rode, Cause it’s you I do be shoutin’ for each time I shoot me load.”

17. Jesus Christ, in Jerry Springer The Opera, 2003: “Actually, I’m a bit gay.” In 2005, the Christian Institute tried to bring a prosecution against the BBC for screening Jerry Springer the Opera, but the UK courts refused to issue a summons.

18. Tim Minchin, Ten-foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins, 2005: “So you’re gonna live in paradise, With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you’re gonna sacrifice your life, For a shot at the greener grass, And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgment, He’s gonna kick my heathen ass.”

19. Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion, 2006: “The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” In 2007 Turkish publisher Erol Karaaslan was charged with the crime of insulting believers for publishing a Turkish translation of The God Delusion. He was acquitted in 2008, but another charge was brought in 2009. Karaaslan told the court that “it is a right to criticise religions and beliefs as part of the freedom of thought and expression.”

20. Pope Benedict XVI quoting a 14th century Byzantine emperor, 2006: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” This statement has already led to both outrage and condemnation of the outrage. The Organisation of the Islamic Conference, the world’s largest Muslim body, said it was a “character assassination of the prophet Muhammad”. The Malaysian Prime Minister said that “the Pope must not take lightly the spread of outrage that has been created.” Pakistan’s foreign Ministry spokesperson said that “anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence”. The European Commission said that “reactions which are disproportionate and which are tantamount to rejecting freedom of speech are unacceptable.”

21. Christopher Hitchens in God is not Great, 2007: “There is some question as to whether Islam is a separate religion at all… Islam when examined is not much more than a rather obvious and ill-arranged set of plagiarisms, helping itself from earlier books and traditions as occasion appeared to require… It makes immense claims for itself, invokes prostrate submission or ‘surrender’ as a maxim to its adherents, and demands deference and respect from nonbelievers into the bargain. There is nothing—absolutely nothing—in its teachings that can even begin to justify such arrogance and presumption.”

22. PZ Myers, on his desecration of a Roman Catholic communion host, 2008: “You would not believe how many people are writing to me, insisting that these horrible little crackers (they look like flattened bits of styrofoam) are literally pieces of their god, and that this omnipotent being who created the universe can actually be seriously harmed by some third-rate liberal intellectual at a third-rate university… However, inspired by an old woodcut of Jews stabbing the host, I thought of a simple, quick thing to do: I pierced it with a rusty nail (I hope Jesus’s tetanus shots are up to date). And then I simply threw it in the trash, followed by the classic, decorative items of trash cans everywhere, old coffeegrounds and a banana peel.”

23. Ian O’Doherty, 2009: “(If defamation of religion was illegal) it would be a crime for me to say that the notion of transubstantiation is so ridiculous that even a small child should be able to see the insanity and utter physical impossibility of a piece of bread and some wine somehow taking on corporeal form. It would be a crime for me to say that Islam is a backward desert superstition that has no place in modern, enlightened Europe and it would be a crime to point out that Jewish settlers in Israel who believe they have a God given right to take the land are, frankly, mad. All the above assertions will, no doubt, offend someone or other.”

24. Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, 2009: “Whether a person is atheist or any other, there is in fact in my view something not totally human if they leave out the transcendent… we call it God… I think that if you leave that out you are not fully human.” Because atheism is not a religion, the Irish blasphemy law does not protect atheists from abusive and insulting statements about their fundamental beliefs. While atheists are not seeking such protection, we include the statement here to point out that it is discriminatory that this law does not hold all citizens equal.

25. Dermot Ahern, Irish Minister for Justice, introducing his blasphemy law at an Oireachtas Justice Committee meeting, 2009, and referring to comments made about him personally: “They are blasphemous.” Deputy Pat Rabbitte replied: “Given the Minister’s self-image, it could very well be that we are blaspheming,” and Minister Ahern replied: “Deputy Rabbitte says that I am close to the baby Jesus, I am so pure.” So here we have an Irish Justice Minister joking about himself being blasphemed, at a parliamentary Justice Committee discussing his own blasphemy law, that could make his own jokes illegal.

Finally, as a bonus, Micheal Martin, Irish Minister for Foreign Affairs, opposing attempts by Islamic States to make defamation of religion a crime at UN level, 2009: “We believe that the concept of defamation of religion is not consistent with the promotion and protection of human rights. It can be used to justify arbitrary limitations on, or the denial of, freedom of expression. Indeed, Ireland considers that freedom of expression is a key and inherent element in the manifestation of freedom of thought and conscience and as such is complementary to freedom of religion or belief.” Just months after Minister Martin made this comment, his colleague Dermot Ahern introduced Ireland’s new blasphemy law.

EMPA#0022: 2010 Predictions: Pope in a Poke & the Downfall of the Vatican

eatmypaganass — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 15:34:08 +0000

Happy New Year, pagany friends! It’s 2010, and not much has changed! It’s politics (of fear) as usual, the Jihad is still on (what are YOU wearing under there?), and we’re questioning whether this new Pope has been testicle-checked. Carmen decides to launch a Pentacade (rather than Crusade, get it?) and lunges at the Pope during Christmas mass. Lucky calls for a storming of the Vatican archives to reclaim pagan treasures. And we propose new tactics for preventing future underwear bomb attacks. Let’s just say it’s another “smooth move” from New York City’s craziest pagans.

Email us with your New Year resolutions, and let us know: if you could join our Pentacade and storm the Vatican to reclaim pagan treasures of yore, what would you hope to find? eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://podcast.eatmypaganass.com

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My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-cbb1c02ac893778270b04ec4978e507f}

EMPA#0021: Happy Yule, and GO SEE AVATAR!!

eatmypaganass — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:58:38 +0000

Carmen & Lucky are back from another cracked NYC adventure — this time, they encounter a crew of blue-painted Avatar wannabes at the movie theater. Truly sad… But the movie Avatar is absolutely amazing and YOU MUST GO SEE IT! Practically a religious experience for pagans.

Oh, and we talk about Yule Yule Yule, and all the crazy things people do (or neglect to do) during this most delicious and festive time of the year. And watch out for the crazy Yule Goat of Finland!

Have a blessed Yule!!

Email us with your Yuletide wishes. How do you like to honor the return of the sun. What are your favorite holiday songs? Foods? Let us know: eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://podcast.eatmypaganass.com

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Happy freakin’ Yule, beyotches!

eatmypaganass — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:41:19 +0000

O.M.Gods! It’s YULE again! The wheel is turning faster than a Chelsea crystal twink turns tricks to score crank. Carmen & I are busy busy busy preparing for the festivities ahead. Meanwhile, we wanted to ask you all: what’s your Yuletide wish this year? Let us know (like, soon) by posting a comment here or emailing us at eatmypaganass@gmail.com. Those of you with particularly wild wishes just might hear them mentioned on the podcast (we’re recording the Yule episode tomorrow, so ya gotta be quick about it!)

In the meantime, I HAD to get another picture up on this blog. I couldn’t stand looking at the damn turkey ass any longer.

Blessed Yule, beyotches,

xxx Lucky xxx

EMPA#0020: Eat My Pagan TURKEY Ass

eatmypaganass — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:38:40 +0000

Carmen & Lucky have just returned from the craziest pagan Thanksgiving party EVER. You won’t wanna miss this DISH! (Warning: have a barf bag at the ready!) Also discussed: labyrinths, magic circles (to close or not to close, that is the question), carnivorous pagans, the Judgment Card of the tarot, and the rune Mannaz. Make sure to save some room for dessert!

Email us with your favorite recipes for TURKEY ASS or any non-conventional food that you prepare in a pagan way. What’s your must-bring dish that you take to every party and why? What are you grateful for, and how do you express that gratitude? If you’re new to the show, introduce yourself. We’d love to give you a shout-out on a future episode of Eat My Pagan Ass. eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

Go to our podcast blog to post a comment, share your thoughts, and divulge your deepest secrets in an unabashedly public forum: http://eatmypaganass.podbean.com

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EMPA#0019: Pagan Sliders - Transdimensional U-Turns Gone Awry

eatmypaganass — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:00:14 +0000

Season Two begins!

Carmen Kickass and Luckylicious have found their way back to this world from their transdimensional wrong-turn. They describe their fantasmagorical experiences in alternate universes and try to adjust to being gone for 2-and-a-half years.

2012 apocalypse approaches! Or does it? Are we misinterpreting the Mayan calendar? News flash: the world is better today than when they left it. We’ve had a quantum shift to the light, kiddies! Let’s CELEBRATE! Cheney is NOT president in THIS reality! Whahoo! It’s the Sliders (think Syfy, not beef) episode of Eat My Pagan Ass, season two.

Carmen & Lucky in the Transdimensional Portal

New theme song music from “Love Dog” by Big Bad Sun (Chris Juergensen), available on Magnatune.com: http://magnatune.com/artists/albums/juergenson-badsun/

We’re so glad to be back, beeeyotches!

Big Bad Sun by Big Bad Sun (Chris Juergensen) on Magnatune.com Big Bad Sun by Big Bad Sun

Email us with your thoughts about 2012, apocalyptic thinking, parallel universes, faerie realms, and switching bodies with your friends! If you’re new to the show, introduce yourself. We’d love to give you a shout-out on a future episode of Eat My Pagan Ass. eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

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